When Your Parents Start Planning

Nearly each day I will have a sweet couple walk through my doors that is looking to pre-arrange for their memorial. Their reasoning? To make it easier on the kids.

And the kids' typical response? I don't want to even think about it.

Now, I will tell you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the aforementioned initial reaction. However, helping your parents pre-plan for their end of life needs can be a beautiful and meaningful process for all.

1. Be Supportive. When your parents initially tell you that they are considering making their burial, cremation or funeral arrangements, stay calm, ask questions, and be sure to offer an outward display of strength and encouragement- even if you are falling apart inside. This is the absolute single most important piece of advice I can give you when it comes to your parents and their need and desire to plan ahead.
2. Help Research. Your parents may already have a cemetery, memorial and funeral home in mind. However, many folks do not have know where to begin making these arrangements. If your parents don't know where to begin, ask them if you can assist in the search. Check out websites and ask friends for recommendations. Help them call around, ask questions and present your ideas and suggestions to them when the time is right.
3. Be Gentle. If you have ideas concerning cemetery location, monument style or design, or the content of the funeral, be gentle in your suggestions and do not be offended if/when they do not share in your ideas. Remember, for many this topic is sensative and very personal.  
4. Don't Rush. If your parents begin the process with gusto and then place their plans on hold, accept it as an indication that they have decided they are not ready to finalize plans just yet. Give them space and time to think through the decisions that need to be made- remember, many of these decisions are permanent!
5. Go With Them But Hold Your Opinions. Ask your parents if you can go with them to make the arrangements. However, if you are planning to accompany them, do remember that these are their plans to make and that you should hold your comments, opinions and objections unless asked for them. Remember, doing this is stressful for them and they need to be re-assured and supported.
6. Remember the Reason. It is important for the kids to understand that their parents' motivation for pre-arranging for their burial/cremation and funeral is completely selfless. Chances are they are doing it as an act of love in an effort to make the grieving process just a little easier on the remaining family and friends.

I hope that this information has helped you know how to best assist your parents (or any other loved ones, for that matter!) if and when they approach you about their end of life arrangements. If you or a loved one is in need of any information regarding this topic, please contact Emerson Monument Company and we will be glad to help.

Planning Ahead

I often think the most difficult purchasing processes one may go through is that of pre-planning his or her funeral, burial and memorial arrangements. It's even true for those of us who work in the industry; I spend each day creating monuments but, when it comes to my own memorial, I am at a loss!

But as much as we would like to avoid it, there comes a time when we realize it would be nice to get the planning out of the way so that we don't burden a loved one with the task.

If you are at that point in your life you probably have several questions regarding pre-planning for a headstone and I am here to help.

The first thing people ask me when they begin pre-planning for their headstone is: "Do I get the headstone now or just pay for it to be placed later?"
The answer is that you have it placed now. Most monument companies do not have the insurances, bonds, trusts or anything else in place to safeguard or track your funds for years to come. Therefore, it is the industry norm to make the stone and immediately place it in the cemetery. Of course your name and birth date will have been engraved and there will be a blank space for your death date inscription.

The second thing people ask is what needs to be done to the stone after they pass. The answer to that varies depending upon the familiy's situation. In most cases you don't need to do anything more than to contract us to engrave the date of death on the stone. However, in the case of a Veteran you will need to order your VA stone and contact us to place it for you.

The third thing people are typically surprised about is that all future engraving, including the inscription of the date of death, IS NOT included in the price of the headstone. The reason for this is that we do not have the ability to track or safeguard your funds for years to come. Therefore, we only accept payment when the services are needed.

The last question most folks ask is how to get started. If you are interested in pre-planning for your headstone, we recommend that you start by gaining an idea of what you are interested in. This may be done by simply walking through cemeteries or browsing through photos online. In doing this you will discover elements that you do and do not like about memorials and will gain a sense of what you think is appropriate for yourself.

If you are considering pre-planning for your memorial or have questions about creating a headstone, please contact Emerson Monument Company and visit with us about the process. Our staff is kind, friendly and informative and will "hold your hand" through the entire process.