When Your Parents Start Planning

Nearly each day I will have a sweet couple walk through my doors that is looking to pre-arrange for their memorial. Their reasoning? To make it easier on the kids.

And the kids' typical response? I don't want to even think about it.

Now, I will tell you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the aforementioned initial reaction. However, helping your parents pre-plan for their end of life needs can be a beautiful and meaningful process for all.

1. Be Supportive. When your parents initially tell you that they are considering making their burial, cremation or funeral arrangements, stay calm, ask questions, and be sure to offer an outward display of strength and encouragement- even if you are falling apart inside. This is the absolute single most important piece of advice I can give you when it comes to your parents and their need and desire to plan ahead.
2. Help Research. Your parents may already have a cemetery, memorial and funeral home in mind. However, many folks do not have know where to begin making these arrangements. If your parents don't know where to begin, ask them if you can assist in the search. Check out websites and ask friends for recommendations. Help them call around, ask questions and present your ideas and suggestions to them when the time is right.
3. Be Gentle. If you have ideas concerning cemetery location, monument style or design, or the content of the funeral, be gentle in your suggestions and do not be offended if/when they do not share in your ideas. Remember, for many this topic is sensative and very personal.  
4. Don't Rush. If your parents begin the process with gusto and then place their plans on hold, accept it as an indication that they have decided they are not ready to finalize plans just yet. Give them space and time to think through the decisions that need to be made- remember, many of these decisions are permanent!
5. Go With Them But Hold Your Opinions. Ask your parents if you can go with them to make the arrangements. However, if you are planning to accompany them, do remember that these are their plans to make and that you should hold your comments, opinions and objections unless asked for them. Remember, doing this is stressful for them and they need to be re-assured and supported.
6. Remember the Reason. It is important for the kids to understand that their parents' motivation for pre-arranging for their burial/cremation and funeral is completely selfless. Chances are they are doing it as an act of love in an effort to make the grieving process just a little easier on the remaining family and friends.

I hope that this information has helped you know how to best assist your parents (or any other loved ones, for that matter!) if and when they approach you about their end of life arrangements. If you or a loved one is in need of any information regarding this topic, please contact Emerson Monument Company and we will be glad to help.

In the News...

The spotlight was on Emerson Monument Company in the September issue of the MB News!

Emerson Monument Company recently teamed up with Love Ashes to create an afordable alternative to pricey cemetery cremation memorials.

While many families choose to simply bury their loved one's cremains and erect a headstone, just as they would if their loved one was buried traditionally, some families choose to go a different route. These families may choose to place a small quantity of their loved one's cremains in the cemetery and then keep a majority of them at home where they may be safeguarded for years to come. Now, thanks to Emerson Monument Company and Love Ashes, families can do that in a whole new way!

Beautiful Adornments are vibrant dichroic glass tiles that contain a small portion of a loved one's ashes. They utilize an industrial strength 3M tape to adhere them to the back of granite memorials and look absolutely amazing in the sunlight.

This stunning memorial was made by Emerson Monument Co. and utilizes one of our Beautiful Adornments in honor of a son who had passed away. Here the Beautiful Adornment gave a family the flexibility to to include the son's memorial with that of the parents.

We are proud to have teamed up with Love Ashes to offer new and unique products to the customers we serve.