When Your Parents Start Planning

Nearly each day I will have a sweet couple walk through my doors that is looking to pre-arrange for their memorial. Their reasoning? To make it easier on the kids.

And the kids' typical response? I don't want to even think about it.

Now, I will tell you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the aforementioned initial reaction. However, helping your parents pre-plan for their end of life needs can be a beautiful and meaningful process for all.

1. Be Supportive. When your parents initially tell you that they are considering making their burial, cremation or funeral arrangements, stay calm, ask questions, and be sure to offer an outward display of strength and encouragement- even if you are falling apart inside. This is the absolute single most important piece of advice I can give you when it comes to your parents and their need and desire to plan ahead.
2. Help Research. Your parents may already have a cemetery, memorial and funeral home in mind. However, many folks do not have know where to begin making these arrangements. If your parents don't know where to begin, ask them if you can assist in the search. Check out websites and ask friends for recommendations. Help them call around, ask questions and present your ideas and suggestions to them when the time is right.
3. Be Gentle. If you have ideas concerning cemetery location, monument style or design, or the content of the funeral, be gentle in your suggestions and do not be offended if/when they do not share in your ideas. Remember, for many this topic is sensative and very personal.  
4. Don't Rush. If your parents begin the process with gusto and then place their plans on hold, accept it as an indication that they have decided they are not ready to finalize plans just yet. Give them space and time to think through the decisions that need to be made- remember, many of these decisions are permanent!
5. Go With Them But Hold Your Opinions. Ask your parents if you can go with them to make the arrangements. However, if you are planning to accompany them, do remember that these are their plans to make and that you should hold your comments, opinions and objections unless asked for them. Remember, doing this is stressful for them and they need to be re-assured and supported.
6. Remember the Reason. It is important for the kids to understand that their parents' motivation for pre-arranging for their burial/cremation and funeral is completely selfless. Chances are they are doing it as an act of love in an effort to make the grieving process just a little easier on the remaining family and friends.

I hope that this information has helped you know how to best assist your parents (or any other loved ones, for that matter!) if and when they approach you about their end of life arrangements. If you or a loved one is in need of any information regarding this topic, please contact Emerson Monument Company and we will be glad to help.

-Springdale, Ark.  Emerson Monument Company of Springdale, AR, is being featured in the June issue of the Monument Builders News. One of their original monuments, an upright memorial with a propeller bolted to the front, will be shown on the cover and is being commended as exhibiting creativity, extreme craftsmanship and a commitment to capture the essence in which the customer wished to be remembered.

The same issue further recognizes the company on both a national and international level for contributions to the industry in the area of creativity and innovation.

The Monument Builders News is a monthly membership-only publication with a circulation of approximately 2,000 worldwide, making it the largest monument industry publication of its kind.

Emerson Monument Company is the region’s largest locally owned and operated monument company, having serviced Northwest Arkansas, Northeast Oklahoma and Southwest Missouri since 1914.

Over the decades Emerson Monument Company has been recognized on both the state and local levels for their cemetery repair efforts, including a major restoration at Fayetteville’s historic Evergreen Cemetery in 2006.

“We are honored to be recognized in the Monument Builders News! We take pride in our craftsmanship and our unwavering dedication to customer service,” says Alison Raymer, Co-owner of Emerson Monument Company.